Dear Alison: I Have Stayed in a Loveless Marriage for 30 Years

Summary

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I Have stayed in a loveless marriage for 30 years, waiting for our three children to leave home and establish their lives before leaving my husband and beginning to live my life again, only to learn I have breast cancer at 54. I'm devastated. I feel trapped into staying because I have no family to support me through this illness if I left him now. Without the certainty of good health, I don't feel I have the strength to undertake the separation. I feel so angry and cheated that this has happened.

I'm so sorry that you have breast cancer and I do hope that it has been caught at an early enough stage for a positive outcome, as is often the case nowadays. However, I understand your anger. You had obviously made plans and these have now been ruined, leaving you feeling frustrated. You have not said what has happened in your relationship and whether there's any hope at all of you salvaging it. If not, and you are intent on leaving, it feels that is very dependent on the treatment you are facing to tackle the cancer. For any major upheaval in life you need energy, and separation is never easy and takes its toll emotionally, regardless of whether you initiate the ending or not.

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Dear Alison: I Have Stayed in a Loveless Marriage for 30 Years

Therefore I woul...

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